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July 31, 2015 / Randall

How Purity Culture Divorced Me From My Own Body

Having a physical body – having a sexual body – was a matter of little consequence to me. Indeed, the idea that listening to my body, responding to it, getting to know it as an intimate part of myself, instead of simply a Jaeger-esque machine was unknown to me. I didn’t know how to listen to myself.


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July 30, 2015 / Randall

7 Things Sex Education Should Have Taught Us But Didn’t

(I would add, “especially if you grew up in a conservative Evangelical church.)

3. Sex is not a reflection of your value as a person.
But to get to this place, sex must be removed from its pedestal as an badge of either honor or shame in our culture. As long as boys are shamed for not succeeding in getting laid and girls are shamed for succeeding in getting laid too often, then boys will continue to have an incentive to manipulate girls into situations where consent is ambiguous and girls will continue to have incentive to manipulative boys into situations where they feel unworthy or powerless. Nobody wins in this arrangement.


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July 30, 2015 / Randall

How Do Women Orgasm? [VIDEO]

6:13 – All of our bodies are different, we’re capable of different thigns. Really, all that it comes down to is finding the kind of stimulation that works for you. So instead of feeling guilty or deficient or like there’s something wrong with you, direct all that attention to figuring out what you actually like, what does feel good in your body.

July 30, 2015 / Randall

Terry Crews, the Feminist: “Millions Have Died Because of Male Pride”

The truth is, everyone is equal and valuable, and everyone is necessary, but there tends to be a dismissal of certain groups. I’m not here to tell guys that it’s their responsibility to come to a woman’s rescue. Women are more than capable of handling themselves, and have been doing so wonderfully for years. What I am saying is, as one man to another man, examine your own mind-set. Examine what makes you tick. Because if you feel that you are more valuable than your wife and kids, that’s a problem.


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July 30, 2015 / Randall

5 Common Questions About Vaginas And Vaginal Sex

1.) “Does the G-spot really exist and, if so, where is it?”
2.) “Does the vagina become loose if women have a lot of sex?”
3.) “Is it possible for a woman to reach orgasm from vaginal penetration alone?”
4.) “Do all women have a hymen that ruptures the first time they have sex?”
5.) “Do women enjoy deep penetration during vaginal sex?”

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July 27, 2015 / Randall


By only valuing the narrative of NO SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE and not valuing any other narrative we miss all the other stories of how God is working in remarkable ways to bless, teach, guide and nourish. [Not to mention how we silence, dismiss and reject hundreds of people in a way Jesus would never do.] Remarkable stories of sweet, loving, committed relationships that unfold gently emotionally, spiritually and physically in ways both people are grateful even when the relationship does not last.


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July 27, 2015 / Randall

I Wasn’t Prepared for the Horror Story That Is Online Dating While Black

There have been so many ridiculous and offensive messages, too many to count or read. Many I’m not even comfortable sharing in this essay.

“Do you taste like chocolate?”

“Is it true what they say about black girls?”

“I’d love to slap dat big juicy booty.”

Once a guy was good enough to message me just to tell me that I look like “something you find in the zoo.”


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